"It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep cause everything is never as it seems." -Owl City, Fireflies

I'm just going to dive into this post. I haven't blogged in a week or two and there are several things I need to get out of my head and onto paper computer. So here's me at the moment:

1. I'm starting to freak. Okay, more than freak. I'm terrified. I'm graduating in May with no intentions whatsoever of staying in Arizona. This means the challenge and difficulty of finding a job hundreds of miles away from my current location. And my lovely mother keeps mentioning an article she read online that said the majority of college graduates are finding jobs through their internships. This allows them to work their way up within the organization and hold a higher position later on. Well everywhere I would like to intern- CMT, for instance- only allows people to intern for college credit. Problem: I will no longer be in college by the time I move to Nashville. So basically I have zero idea of what I'll be doing. I don't mind starting off small somewhere, the lowest on the ladder if you will. But I want it to be somewhere I want to make my way up the food chain. CMT. An event planning business. Music venue/arena. Something. Oy vey. Pray for me? Please?

2. I never nap. Ever. Once I'm up for the day, I'm up. Or at least that used to be the case. I've napped more in the past two weeks than I have in my entire life. I'm exhausted and I have no idea why. Literally, no idea. It's not like I have a billion exams or papers or feel weighed down by my internship. In fact, everything is spread out nice and even and all projects are accomplishable. Yet I find myself pooped. Somehow, even when I'm tired at 9:30 p.m., I insist on staying up to well past midnight. I've gotten into the horrible pattern of resetting my alarm clock for 15 to 20 minutes later than the time I should be waking up in the morning. This usually means scrambling to make coffee before I jet out the door and, in many cases, realizing I need to stop at the gas station because there is no way I will make it to campus on nearly empty, which puts me further behind schedule. It's really all quite ridiculous. Even now, I'm up at 1 a.m. writing this. Pathetic, I tell you, pa-the-tic!

3. Recently another person in the family has been struck with an awful illness. (I'm telling you, good genes do not run on either side of the family. Literally, our family has everything- heart problems, cancer, mental issues, i.e. Alzheimers and so on and so forth. Not pessimistic. It's merely fact.) My aunt found out about a month ago that she has breast cancer. She had a double mastectomy Tuesday and found out Thursday that she has cancer in her lymph nodes, which means she will have to have chemo. My grandmother is extremely worried because her mother died from cancer. And my poor aunt must be so frightened. I know I would be. Pray for her, too? Please and thank you.

4. I am officially one of my cousin's bridesmaids. I've never been in a wedding, so this will be a new adventure. I've already purchased my dress- Tiffany blue, which is one of her colors. The wedding is early June, so I'll be staying in Arizona until then.

5. I'm reading a lot more lately. This is a good thing. I miss reading... a lot. On the list for now is: Shades of Blue by Karen Kingsbury and You Were Born For This by Bruce Wilkinson. I recently finished LA Candy by Lauren Conrad, which was a fun read. I plan on later reading The Devil Wears Prada and perhaps going back and reading Twilight. Or The Vampire Diaries series. Or something by C.S. Lewis. I'm not sure yet, so we'll see.

6. I have more to write, but I must get sleep. Perhaps another post tomorrow later today when I wake up?