I'm incredibly emotional today. And my personal frustrations have been building. I crave to speak to Him. I crave His words and encouragement. I crave truth. I crave freedom. & That's what He brings me. Openly.
I was talking to my mom on the phone before I walked in Starbucks for my quiet time with God. I had a minor emotional cry fest over the phone. But sitting here, His words tackle every frustration to the floor. Gone, a blanket of peace surrounding me.
It's these moments. These moments where I sit in awe. The moments where I just feel beauty. The moments where I'm so clearly aware of how I am nothing without Him. That as I sit in disgust of myself, His overwhelming love for me brings me to tears. It's the magic of Him taking icky piece by icky piece and filling it with His goodness.
My King is the truest I know. He's so real to me that everything else is a falsehood in comparison. I don't know if that makes sense- probably not. But my point is I cannot even begin to explain how true He is to me. How alive He is. What He's done in my life. & I can't even begin to describe the things He's had to deal with-- my imperfections, angers, doubts and ugliness. Yet His unfailing love is always there.
I truly can't imagine a greater love story than a relationship with My King. He's everything. He has always provided. There's no one better for conversation. There's no one that can make me feel safe. Knowing no matter what darkness comes into my life, His light will always be there to guide the way. Life will never be perfect. In fact, I believe He blesses us with trials. Every difficult experience has been the best experience because it brought me closer to Him. It made me grow into the person I am today. Only from brokedness is He able to shape me into the person He created me to be-- and He continues to do that.
And I just can't explain how beautiful I think it all is. How he works. How in the midst of tragedy and every bad thing in the world, He can bring beauty. How His light covers every darkness. If I just stop and be still, it's so clearly there.
In this moment, I have the biggest grin on my face. He's just so. perfectly. beautiful.