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A new website

Psst... I mentioned a few blog posts back that I've started taking on freelance projects in my spare time. Freelance is something I've wanted to pursue for a while now and I figured it should start with a website. So, if you'd like, you can head over to www.kristynamurphy.com to learn more about the services I offer. I'm still fine-tuning the content, but have decided to release it into the wild. 

AND since I'm starting this journey, I've decided I want to keep record of it. So whether it's blogging on my new site or here on The Owl Diary, expect to see more posts about the things I'm learning, what I'm creating, and what's inspiring me. My hope is that it could help another who's also on their own creative business journey.

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Just Start

Photo credit:  Clementine Daily

Photo credit: Clementine Daily

Just start. Two words I whispered to myself countless times over the past two years. Letting a mixture of the fear of the unknown + depression + procrastination hold me back. Now I find myself regretting wasting so much valuable time to learn and grow. So here I am. Since I returned back from my trip to Tennessee and Georgia, I've rolled up my sleeves and am ready to work. Let me tell you, it's completely terrifying... seeing how there's so many things I don't know and a trillion more things that fall under the category of "I don't know what I don't know."

With one task/step/day at a time, I'm learning. I'm getting better. I'm starting down this path that I think, hope, takes me somewhere new and exciting (and, yes, scary). I've taken on a few freelance projects and my free time has been consumed with less TV (hooray!) and more time glued to my computer--designing, googling, watching tutorial videos, reading and so on. It's exciting and empowering and... did I mention scary? I know I can do this. Once I tackle one thing, I realize that one thing wasn't as difficult as I thought it'd be. I'm working on patience, and giving myself permission to fail, to mess up, to not be perfect, to not know it all and do it all.

You'll get where you want to be, hun. I'm proud of you for starting.

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Grateful Moments

Twice a week my evenings are spent at my aunt and uncle's. Their dog Cooper greets me with excitement, tail wagging and jumping uncontrollably, as to say that we must leave on a walk. Immediately. So we do. The best walks are when I'm joined by my aunt, cousin, and/or little cousins. This past Wednesday I was joined by Cooper, my cousin, and her two boys.  She pushed her youngest in a stroller and little Beckett (featured in the video) rode his strider. He was proud of balancing with no feet on the ground and kept saying, "Mom watch me!" You can hear her excitement in the video saying, "We're going to have to show daddy!" I love moments like these and I couldn't be more grateful for my family. My two cousins have four sweet boys and they've been little angels in my life. They helped me get through so many dark days, making me smile and giggle on days where I didn't think I could. I've learned how much I truly desire to be mom. Until then, I'll continue to be thankful for these little ones who bring me so much joy.

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Currently

โ€œSo, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be."


I think I'm somehow miraculously coming into my own. The past week feels like I'm on the brink of something life altering. Like I've found something that makes me want to work hard, better myself, learn. I forgot how much I truly love to learn. Instead of sitting around binge watching TV. This thing is right in front of me. A path I've stumbled upon and all I have to do is keep taking steps down this path. I'm starting to feel inspired again--in a way I haven't felt since college when I still felt like a little girl who dreamt of things like designing a pretty crown and running off to a forest just in time for the wild rumpus to start.

There is so much to be done. So much to discover. About myself and the things I want to create. There's nothing I can't do. Before it seemed like this big scary thing, you know? It's silly how scary things can be. But I'm starting to accept that I am capable. I'm starting to believe in myself again. Which you'd think is absurd if you had only been in my head this past Friday or Saturday night. The latter being when I stayed up to the early hours in the morning, feeling like depression was suffocating the air out of my lungs.

Alas, I'm in that familiar place where life seems messy and sad, but beautiful and hopeful at the same time.

Goodnight, loves.

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The New Year

2016. My goal this year is to get unstuck. Specifically, mentally unstuck. If, at the end of the year, I'm mentally (or physically) in a different place, I'll be proud. So far it seems this may be the year where I'm blunt. The one where I stick up for myself. The one where I give myself pep talks and tell myself to woman up and tell fear to F itself.  If I don't want to be here in 12 months, I have to work for it.

Last year I suspected 2016 was going to be one big question mark. We'll see if my gut was right.

Anyway, I haven't been on The Owl Diary in months and wanted to check in. My trip home for Christmas went by quickly, each day busy with things to do. There was shopping and road tripping and crafting and ice skating and baking and card games and coffee and more shopping and more card games. The warmth and humidity that stayed for half the trip was my least favorite. But anytime spent with my parents is my favorite.

Not a whole lot has changed since I've been back in Arizona. I want to attempt to watch less TV this year. But alas, I've already spent 10 hours over the past week binge watching Making a Murderer. (Along with the rest of America.) And it's all I could talk about last week. (And this week, since I'm randomly bringing it up here.) I could go on and on about it, but I suppose I'll spare you. Let's just say that never has a TV show affected my sleeping patterns so much and made me toss and turn all night. Watch it. 

Peace out, loves.

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