Just start. Two words I whispered to myself countless times over the past two years. Letting a mixture of the fear of the unknown + depression + procrastination hold me back. Now I find myself regretting wasting so much valuable time to learn and grow. So here I am. Since I returned back from my trip to Tennessee and Georgia, I've rolled up my sleeves and am ready to work. Let me tell you, it's completely terrifying... seeing how there's so many things I don't know and a trillion more things that fall under the category of "I don't know what I don't know."
With one task/step/day at a time, I'm learning. I'm getting better. I'm starting down this path that I think, hope, takes me somewhere new and exciting (and, yes, scary). I've taken on a few freelance projects and my free time has been consumed with less TV (hooray!) and more time glued to my computer--designing, googling, watching tutorial videos, reading and so on. It's exciting and empowering and... did I mention scary? I know I can do this. Once I tackle one thing, I realize that one thing wasn't as difficult as I thought it'd be. I'm working on patience, and giving myself permission to fail, to mess up, to not be perfect, to not know it all and do it all.
You'll get where you want to be, hun. I'm proud of you for starting.
After living in Arizona for 27 years, I finally made it to the Grand Canyon. I had family in town this past week and received a text inviting me on their Thursday road trip. I was ecstatic.
Several Arizonians have told me that after you see it once, you've seen enough. But I couldn't disagree more. It was breathtaking, stunning and unlike anything I'd ever seen. We were there for a little over four hours and I felt like it wasn't nearly enough time. We walked around Mather Point near the visitor center. We drove east to make lunch and eat sandwiches at a picnic table in the shade. After, we stopped at Grandview Point where we hiked down a trail a little bit. Last we drove east to the Desert View Watchtower.
This movie had an affect on me. Yes, I know. A rom com impacted me. Don't judge. I rented it last Friday night and was expecting a cookie-cutter romantic comedy. Sure, in many ways it was. BUT it didn't play out the way I expected. It was a genuine surprise.
Spoilers: How to Be Single is about a single woman in her 20s who is learning to live alone and is figuring out who she is. In the end, she decides to be herself, does what she wants, and starts all the things she'd put off doing for so long. She chose to make herself happy instead of relying on someone else.
It reminded me that once upon a time I truly enjoyed being single. I knew who I was and I didn't need a man to define me. I did things that I wanted to do. I was happy, mostly. And I didn't worry about when I'd settle down. I lost the part of myself that genuinely enjoyed being alone. Though, I guess that sometimes happens after you end a relationship with the person you thought you'd be with for the rest of your life. Over the past month I've healed more than I have in the last two years combined. And yes, this movie helped by providing the reminder that being single is something that can be, and should be, enjoyable.
A playlist that keeps me pumped while I get work done. (Or a mix to rock out / lip synch / dance to when I need a creative break.)
1. Hell No - Ingrid Michaelson
2. Superman - Ivory Layne
3. Just Like Fire - P!nk
4. Work From Home - Fifth Harmony
5. Love Myself - Hailee Steinfeld
6. Mine - Phoebe Ryan
7. Rock Bottom - Hailee Steinfeld, DNCE
8. Colors - Halsey
9. Pursuit of Happiness - Lissie
10. Cheap Thrills - SIA
11. Sit Still, Look Pretty - Daya